Seeing A Movie In Japan — As Seen In Japan

“Here would be a good epitaph for some guy: ‘I want everyone to know it was great being alive, and I really enjoyed myself. I especially enjoyed fucking and going to the movies.’”
George Carlin

What’s it like going to the movies in Japan? Do they have popcorn? Are the movies made of fish? We were brave enough to find out.

This past Thursday was Eriko’s birthday, and as a huge nerd who loves any movie with space in it, she wanted to see Dune. Movies in Japan are mostly like movies everywhere else - seats, screen, lone weirdos at a 2:50 showing on a weekday - but there are some slight differences.

We went to OS Cinemas at Kobe Harborland Umie, where right away we experienced something that sets Japanese theaters apart from American ones: we had to go up four escalators to get there.

High Level Cinema

In America, pretty much all movie theaters are on the first floor of whatever building they’re in. Not so in Japan. The first time Eriko took me to the movies in Osaka, the theater was on the 11th floor, and I was super surprised. This also extends to other venues. We once went to a Get Up Kids concert that was on the 9th floor of a building.

Killing Time at the Theater

The lobby of OS Cinemas is quite large, and features dozens of those toy dispensers where you put in a coin and get a dumb little plastic toy inside a dumb little plastic ball. Here they are called “Gashapon,” but Eriko calls them “Gachapon,” which is supposed to mimic the sound of turning the crank with the coin inside (gacha) and the little ball coming down the chute (pon). In all the times we’ve gone to this theater, I’ve never seen anyone actually procure one of these toys, but it gives you something to look at while waiting for the movie.

Rules are Rules

And you will have to wait for the movie. In America, the theater opens well in advance, so you can go in and sit down and watch those trivia questions for so long they scroll back around to the beginning. In Japan, the theater does not open until 10 minutes before the start time, no exceptions. How inconvenient this is depends on how early you are, how big the lobby is, and how nice the bathrooms are. Luckily, this time we were only a bit early, the lobby at OS Cinemas was big and the bathrooms were spacious and clean.

Expensive Impulse Buys

One big thing that sets Japanese theaters apart is the cinema store. Every theater has one of these, a counter where you can buy DVDs (which at this time were all James Bond because No Time to Die had just come out), books, and all kinds of little gifts, including a thing you can hang up with Loki’s face on it?

To me, this seems like a place that would exist as a distraction, but not somewhere that actually does numbers, and not simply because every James Bond movie can be watched for free on Amazon Prime in Japan. However, I was wrong. Apparently, people actually buy stuff there.

Eriko told me a story about how when the first J.J. Abrams Star Trek came out, she went to it on opening night and bought $100 worth of stuff from the cinema store. This seemed crazy to me, and not just because I do not want to own $100 worth of stuff from Star Trek or any movie. How could she buy a bunch of merchandise before seeing the movie? What if she didn’t like it? She did not have answers to my questions.

Buying Tickets

Ordering tickets is much like any theater in America, where you can go to a little kiosk and pick your seats. As you can see, they have Japanese movies as well as American ones. What are the Japanese movies like, you ask?

Like this. Every Japanese movie or TV show is this. A bunch of people all making weird faces. That’s what they like.

Also, note that English-language films like Dune are available either in English with subtitles, or dubbed into Japanese. We also choose the subtitled version because, in the words of a prostitute played by Scott Thompson on Kids in the Hall 30 years ago, “Dubbing sucks.” (“But so do we.”)

Snack Time

Upon first glance, the snack counter at a Japanese movie theater is similar to those all over the world. They sell popcorn, churros, hot dogs, and now a selection of coffee and espresso drinks because they’re trying to be fancy. The soda selection is limited, but one nice thing about Japan is every restaurant and movie theater gives you the option of getting a big cup of orange juice, which is what we always choose to go with our big popcorn.

And yes, just like in America, you can take way more napkins than you need and destroy the planet by throwing them into the garbage unused.

And I mean big. We always get the big popcorn because it comes in a combo deal where you get two drinks and a giant popcorn at what is probably a discount (I’ve never actually done the math). The popcorn is really good at OS Cinemas, but it’s more than the quality that matters. Pay close attention…

Your cardboard wall cannot stop our love!

Yes, that’s HALF AND HALF popcorn. They put in a little divider so you can get half regular buttered popcorn and half caramel. corn. Every theater I’ve gone to in Japan has this. I am perpetually infuriated that American movie theaters have not adopted this system, because it is great. A man should always be able to double his pleasure when it comes to popcorn.

The plastic thing the combo meal comes in fits into your cup holder and balances on your knee so you can have your drinks and popcorn at the ready and you don’t have to hold onto them or set them on the floor when not eating or drinking, and at the end, you walk out of the theater and hand a big plastic thing full of trash to the lady.

So that’s pretty much it for Japanese movies. They’re mostly the same, except for the rigid time rules, the products both cheap and expensive available in the lobby, and the amaaaaaazing regular/caramel popcorn combo.

And how was the movie? Well…