McDonald's Visit, Featuring Bacon Potato Pie, Milky McShake, and Samurai Burger

The first thing that hits you is the smell. You know the one I’m talking about, that unmistakable odor that emanates from a McDonald’s bag; not quite fries and not quite nuggets, it just smells like McDonald’s.

We wanted to enjoy our cheat day this Saturday, but didn’t want to expose ourselves to a restaurant since we’re not vaccinated, so we hit up Macca’s. It was surprisingly crowded for three in the afternoon, but that was probably because nothing else was open.

You know by now that Japanese fast food places sometimes have crazy offerings, and McDonald’s is no exception. We decided to be bad boy and bad girl and get a big haul, including several new things we’d never seen before. First up: the Bacon Potato Pie.

AND FIFTEEN OF OUR POTATO BACON BOMBS!

I had two conflicting thoughts upon seeing this: first, I thought, who in the hell would want this? Why would they approve this for sale in their stores? But then I thought, well, they’ve been successful with the apple pies. Maybe a savory version would work.

Then, after that, I thought, 150 yen? That’s a bargain. Gimme. They gamme.

The shell was more like that of a chimichanga than a Hot Pocket. I’ve had McDonald’s apple pie like twice in my life, so i’m not sure if the exterior is this crispy, but it definitely had a crunch to it.

Inside was what could only be described as goo.

Ewwwww.

The goo had a very recognizable taste to it, the sort of artificial potato-and-bacon flavoring you get from a cheap can of potato-bacon soup. It kind of clashed with the crunchy exterior, which was so hard to bite through that you sort of had to rip it off and the thick goo squirted out.

Eriko really liked this one, and agreed that it tasted like soup. I think I’ll go ahead and never try another one. It does open up a world of possibilities - perhaps a chicken pot pie version? Why not a beef stew version? Actually now I just really want empanadas, and I don’t think there’s an empanada place on this continent.

Up next was the Milky McShake, which was also very cheap at only 200 yen for a medium. If you don’t know, Milky is a type of candy that tastes like - you guessed it - pure sugar. At first Eriko didn’t want to get this at all, saying it would be too sweet.

OH MY was she right. My first reaction was that it tasted like strawberry milk, which was possible as the asterisk clearly stated that it may end up mixed with other flavors “due to the nature of the machine.” But then I realized I wasn’t reacting to strawberry, but to intense artificial milk flavoring.

It was really sweet. Never could have finished this on my own; well, I could have, but I would have needed a nap afterward. No comment on whether or not I took a nap after this meal.

Milky McShake is definitely only for kids and those who can handle really sweet things.

There are two versions of the Samurai Burger available, one that’s a double-stack of meat, and one with bacon, lettuce, and tomato. Despite the fact that my wife ordered for me, something was still lost in translation, as I asked for the one with BLT and instead got the double stack, which was just meat, cheese and a lot of sauce.

I’m a little suspicious as to whether the beef was in fact “roasted” as the ad proclaims, but it’s nice to know the cheese is made “from processed cheese.”

The sauce was… tangy. Real tang to it. Loads of tang. It maybe tasted a little like soy sauce, but not really. The more of the burger I ate, the less I liked the sauce, and by the end I wasn’t enjoying it at all. I would rather have just had a normal burger. All in all, I’d say the new offerings from McDonald’s were a little weak this time around.

Eriko got a regular double cheeseburger, and with it we shared the thing we were really there for: the fries.

McDonald’s fries are like no other, always half of them soaked in oil and the other half crunchy and filled with nothing but air. These had clearly been sitting out for a bit, which was a real shame. We generally go to McDonald’s about 4-5 times a year, and the only reason we go is because it’s the closest fast food to us. We’re konbini folk for a reason: on the whole, it’s better and cheaper.

However, McDonald’s Japan does have some quality limited-time-only offerings (like the Black Thunder McFlurry I’m still dreaming of), so I know we’ll be back in a couple months. Until then, happy eating, and keep an eye on Yoru Mac.