Konbini Kinyoubi: Hard Candy from 7-11
You know how in that movie The Shape of Water, Michael Shannon keeps eating hard candy the whole time? Like, constantly throughout the day he’s popping hard candies, and muses on his love for them? And you thought, “man, that’s such a hack writer move, no one is addicted to hard candy like that, it’s just a dumb movie character trait,” am I right?
Well, I got news for you: I, Gregg Parker, am addicted to hard candy. I eat it all day long. I’ve got a hard candy in my mouth as I write this. If you see me out in the world, I’ve got hard candy on me. What I’m saying is that i’m a connoisseur, and I have serious opinions on the subject. So this week, we went to 7-11 and got three kinds of hard candy to review.
They’re made by Chris Pine!
Up first: Pineapple Candy! Shaped like Life Savers, these come in a fat bulging bag! Let’s give ‘em a look!
Oishii yo!
These are definitely on the sweeter side, but the pineapple flavor isn’t overpowering or artificial. While they’re one of my favorites, I do tend to eat them too quickly rather than sucking on them. They’re also a tad too thick, meaning they can lead to drooling. Not an everyday choice, but I’m never unhappy I got them.
Be on the lookout for the special edition, which has strawberry and apple flavors!
Kanro Non-Sugar Fruit Candy! This is my tried-and-true gold standard. I have at least a half-dozen of these a day. They’re solid and smooth, and not too sweet. I have acid reflux, so usually after every meal I have to suck on something to avoid clearing my throat endlessly. These little guys work perfectly for that. And although I haven’t actually read the nutrition label, the name makes me think they have no sugar, so that’s good!
Inside the bag, they’re arranged on a plate, just like this!
The flavors are orange, lemon, grape, and peach. Orange is the best, because orange is always the best. Grape is only a problem in non-mask times because it stains your mouth. Lemon can be a bit tart, and peach is forgettable. But I never have too much of an issue with whatever flavor I grab. I can’t imagine switching to another standard candy anytime soon, so next time you see me, ask if you can have one of these. I probably have some on me.
He invented dynamite, you know.
Nobel Honey Kumquat Throat Candy! It says “throat candy,” but these are actually the ones from today that would be least effective for a sore throat. They’ve got a thin shell and a liquid center that is quite tasty, but makes them more for munching than sucking. I find that when I have these, I just end up eating them and they do nothing for heartburn or a sore throat. Like all the others, these receive a 15/10.
Let us know what your favorite kind of candy is in the comments below! Just kidding, we don’t allow comments because we don’t care what you think! Now go to the konbini and buy some candy!
